Friday, October 10, 2008
Monday, November 12, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
One month anniversary
As I was putting Molly down to sleep this evening, I realized that we picked her up in Thai Nguyen exactly one month ago today.
It feels like we've had her forever, in some ways, and in others we are still trying to find balance in that ever sensitive mobile known as our family. The mobile as a trio was bound to change balance with the addition of another person. Change is inevitable and still it takes some getting used to.
So it seems especially for Max. He was a rockstar the entire time we were abroad and now that we are home, on his highness' TERRITORY, the "I'm so Excited to Have a Sister" song has changed to "I'm not really so sure anymore." Who is this baby and why do people ogle over her when all she does is lay there like a lump?
He is certainly acting out in all sorts of ways to get our attention and we are told this is perfectly normal. Just to be patient and ride it out. Give it 3 to 4 weeks and hopefully our mobile will have regained some sense of composure and balance.
But the minutes go by like hours. Poop on the bedroom wall once (which Max emphatically denies - first he blamed it on Tom and then the cat), the baby's monitor in the trash, being a little rough with the baby always with one doubtful eye cast up at me or Tom when he's doing it, being noisy when we ask him to be quiet and overall regressing to a baby has taken a great deal of patience from a parent's perspective. I wish I were as balanced, sane and wise as the Buddha so that I could hold Max's confusion and pain without reacting or getting impatient. But I'm not the Buddha. I'm a 42 year old mother doing the best I humanly can with aspirations of being all-loving and patient.
My summer reading list now includes "Siblings without Rivalry" and "How to Talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk" not to mention countless articles on the sibling topic. While searching for guidance on how to deal with this natural bump in the road, I've also found that the wound from my childhood experience (aka being dethroned and not particularly well) has re-opened. Fun stuff, huh?
I know Max will grow through this phase. Tom and I are trying to be exceedingly patient (perhaps too lenient?) and validate how he is and always will be very special to us. I'm trying to encourage his engineer-like, detailed mind to learn how to express his feelings. Not an easy thing for any of us to do and particularly when your world has been rocked upside down in the course of one afternoon outing. Of course it boggles my mind how the light of my life could even doubt his position in the world but he's been thrown a curve ball he didn't see coming.
The silver lining, I hope, is that we are learning new skills to promote self-expression in healthy ways, learning words and ways to communicate our feelings and re-learning that we are loved. All excellent skills to have and if I have given Max any tools for the-rest-of-his-life toolbox, I hope these are among the most important and serve him forever.
In all fairness, i can really see Max trying to do the right thing. Yesterday, he gave Molly a bottle and he takes great pride in showing off to others that he can hold his big sister all by himself. Tonite, he insisted on helping prepare her bottle and says he can carry her which is something we haven't let him do. Whenever he hears her cry, he says "Mommy, you better go get that baby" and occasinally I overhear him calling her various terms of endearment including sweet pea and little bug.
He also has adopted "Mia" (named after one of Molly's cribmates from the orphanage who we got to know well). Mia was given to him about two years ago and he has basically ignored this Asian doll made by Corelle ever since. Until just a few days ago when he rediscovered her in Molly's room. Since then, he walks around with her, feeding her, burping her and thanks to Gaga, he now has a stroller to push her around in. I was very hopeful that Mia might help with the adjustment period but then I think I've had to feed Mia more than he has (per his orders) and a recent influx of presents (all airplanes!!!) has distracted him from his own baby.
The good news is Molly is a dream baby. She's just great. Like, knock on wood, so far so good. She is a happy, adventurous and social little girl who loves to smile, giggle and blow raspberries. Oddly enough, she also really responds to age appropriate learning toys, loving their bright colors and silly noises. After a month of living with this precious little girl, Tom and I seem more convinced than ever that life in the orphanage was like living in a sensory deprivation tank for the first four months of her life - at best. She likes being held, she doesn't mind by whom, but she still doesn't like sitting in a car seat. (Not that I could blame her.) She has a very sweet disposition and tolerates Max's fumbling attempts at affection surprisingly well. She's a great eater (do not get in between her and her bottle at feeding time!) and being hungry is one of the few times she cries. I am in awe that she is so good at self-soothing and I can put her in her crib at naptime or bedtime and she puts herself to sleep. I love her so much and the fact that I really have a daughter, after so many years of wanting, wanting, still hasn't fully resonated in my pea brain.
What else is new? I miss our adventure. I miss the excitement of being abroad and the unexpected juiciness of each new day. I miss our new friends, who we bonded with in a super life changing event. I miss making new friends. I miss Cambodia. I miss the Grand Hotel D'Angkor in Siem Reap and I miss fresh spring rolls in Vietnam. I miss writing in my blog.
I do not miss the mildewy smelly towels at the Melia Hotel nor do I miss the oppressive heat. People kept asking me this past week - while we've been in the midst of a record-breaking heatwave - if it was this hot in Vietnam. They're surprised when I say hotter. I don't miss the pollution or crazy traffic in Hanoi but I do wish I had walked around Hoan Keim Lake more often than I did. I still have so much I want to write for future adoptive parents in Vietnam as the blogs and yahoo groups that precede me were so helpful. I felt like I had a clue of what was happening during our time in Vietnam while others, who didn't read blogs or join yahoo groups for families adopting from Vietnam, seemed basically clueless and as a result, extremely anxious. As time permits, I will try to update the blog with that information. But getting quiet, personal time to write seems to be a low priority these days.
Life is good. We are blessed. We leave for Fishers Island for two weeks which is a wonderful bonus b/c we weren't sure we were going to be able to get up there this year. My family of origin is celebrating a family reunion this week. We've got much to celebrate - my brother's engagement and two new babies to welcome into the family tree. It's late and soon Molly will be wanting her midnight snack so I will write more later.
It feels like we've had her forever, in some ways, and in others we are still trying to find balance in that ever sensitive mobile known as our family. The mobile as a trio was bound to change balance with the addition of another person. Change is inevitable and still it takes some getting used to.
So it seems especially for Max. He was a rockstar the entire time we were abroad and now that we are home, on his highness' TERRITORY, the "I'm so Excited to Have a Sister" song has changed to "I'm not really so sure anymore." Who is this baby and why do people ogle over her when all she does is lay there like a lump?
He is certainly acting out in all sorts of ways to get our attention and we are told this is perfectly normal. Just to be patient and ride it out. Give it 3 to 4 weeks and hopefully our mobile will have regained some sense of composure and balance.
But the minutes go by like hours. Poop on the bedroom wall once (which Max emphatically denies - first he blamed it on Tom and then the cat), the baby's monitor in the trash, being a little rough with the baby always with one doubtful eye cast up at me or Tom when he's doing it, being noisy when we ask him to be quiet and overall regressing to a baby has taken a great deal of patience from a parent's perspective. I wish I were as balanced, sane and wise as the Buddha so that I could hold Max's confusion and pain without reacting or getting impatient. But I'm not the Buddha. I'm a 42 year old mother doing the best I humanly can with aspirations of being all-loving and patient.
My summer reading list now includes "Siblings without Rivalry" and "How to Talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk" not to mention countless articles on the sibling topic. While searching for guidance on how to deal with this natural bump in the road, I've also found that the wound from my childhood experience (aka being dethroned and not particularly well) has re-opened. Fun stuff, huh?
I know Max will grow through this phase. Tom and I are trying to be exceedingly patient (perhaps too lenient?) and validate how he is and always will be very special to us. I'm trying to encourage his engineer-like, detailed mind to learn how to express his feelings. Not an easy thing for any of us to do and particularly when your world has been rocked upside down in the course of one afternoon outing. Of course it boggles my mind how the light of my life could even doubt his position in the world but he's been thrown a curve ball he didn't see coming.
The silver lining, I hope, is that we are learning new skills to promote self-expression in healthy ways, learning words and ways to communicate our feelings and re-learning that we are loved. All excellent skills to have and if I have given Max any tools for the-rest-of-his-life toolbox, I hope these are among the most important and serve him forever.
In all fairness, i can really see Max trying to do the right thing. Yesterday, he gave Molly a bottle and he takes great pride in showing off to others that he can hold his big sister all by himself. Tonite, he insisted on helping prepare her bottle and says he can carry her which is something we haven't let him do. Whenever he hears her cry, he says "Mommy, you better go get that baby" and occasinally I overhear him calling her various terms of endearment including sweet pea and little bug.
He also has adopted "Mia" (named after one of Molly's cribmates from the orphanage who we got to know well). Mia was given to him about two years ago and he has basically ignored this Asian doll made by Corelle ever since. Until just a few days ago when he rediscovered her in Molly's room. Since then, he walks around with her, feeding her, burping her and thanks to Gaga, he now has a stroller to push her around in. I was very hopeful that Mia might help with the adjustment period but then I think I've had to feed Mia more than he has (per his orders) and a recent influx of presents (all airplanes!!!) has distracted him from his own baby.
The good news is Molly is a dream baby. She's just great. Like, knock on wood, so far so good. She is a happy, adventurous and social little girl who loves to smile, giggle and blow raspberries. Oddly enough, she also really responds to age appropriate learning toys, loving their bright colors and silly noises. After a month of living with this precious little girl, Tom and I seem more convinced than ever that life in the orphanage was like living in a sensory deprivation tank for the first four months of her life - at best. She likes being held, she doesn't mind by whom, but she still doesn't like sitting in a car seat. (Not that I could blame her.) She has a very sweet disposition and tolerates Max's fumbling attempts at affection surprisingly well. She's a great eater (do not get in between her and her bottle at feeding time!) and being hungry is one of the few times she cries. I am in awe that she is so good at self-soothing and I can put her in her crib at naptime or bedtime and she puts herself to sleep. I love her so much and the fact that I really have a daughter, after so many years of wanting, wanting, still hasn't fully resonated in my pea brain.
What else is new? I miss our adventure. I miss the excitement of being abroad and the unexpected juiciness of each new day. I miss our new friends, who we bonded with in a super life changing event. I miss making new friends. I miss Cambodia. I miss the Grand Hotel D'Angkor in Siem Reap and I miss fresh spring rolls in Vietnam. I miss writing in my blog.
I do not miss the mildewy smelly towels at the Melia Hotel nor do I miss the oppressive heat. People kept asking me this past week - while we've been in the midst of a record-breaking heatwave - if it was this hot in Vietnam. They're surprised when I say hotter. I don't miss the pollution or crazy traffic in Hanoi but I do wish I had walked around Hoan Keim Lake more often than I did. I still have so much I want to write for future adoptive parents in Vietnam as the blogs and yahoo groups that precede me were so helpful. I felt like I had a clue of what was happening during our time in Vietnam while others, who didn't read blogs or join yahoo groups for families adopting from Vietnam, seemed basically clueless and as a result, extremely anxious. As time permits, I will try to update the blog with that information. But getting quiet, personal time to write seems to be a low priority these days.
Life is good. We are blessed. We leave for Fishers Island for two weeks which is a wonderful bonus b/c we weren't sure we were going to be able to get up there this year. My family of origin is celebrating a family reunion this week. We've got much to celebrate - my brother's engagement and two new babies to welcome into the family tree. It's late and soon Molly will be wanting her midnight snack so I will write more later.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Rabbit, rabbit
Happy August!
We've been home five days (four nights) and we are slowly starting to morph into the timezone we once knew here. We've given ourselves lots of space and little obligations this week so that we could gently ease into life at home as a quartet. I feel so lucky that we can do that! That neither Tom or I have to rush off to work this week but can just have this space to to move into this new and exciting chapter of our lives.
Picking up Molly in Hanoi in July was blistering hot and humid like this Eastern Shore girl has never seen before BUT it was divine timing. We basically have the summer off from work and school responsibilities so it was perfectly timed. Molly is swinging in her swing (thanks Jack for the loan!), sucking her thumb, waking up every few minutes to smile at me and then go back to her cat nap. It just occurred to me that it's almost like shes's always been here and I have distant memories of what it was like when we were a trio.
We've been waiting for her for a long time and I will say that we all agree, hands down, that she was worth the wait. And, as you will often here in adoption circles, she is just the baby who is supposed to be in our lives. There are times in the adoption process that I wanted a baby so bad and RIGHT NOW. But, like with Max, if that had happened that way, well then we wouldn't have Molly. It works just as it is supposed to work, whether we understand it or not.
So, by and large, it's nice to be home. Max got up at 3:30 in the morning the first two nights home to play with his toys. He was so happy to be re-united with his "things." I had woken up at 5:30 a.m. to find all the lights on downstairs and he was on the sunporch happily playing with his cars and planes. "I didn't want to wake you up, Mommy," he said, eating his second package of peanut butter crackers. "I wanted to let you and Daddy sleep."
He seems to be finding his independence since we've returned. He does more things that he can do for himself and it's nice to see him growing up. Maybe he was this way before we left and I only notice it more now with Molly because we have to do everything for her. While I'm excited Max is more independent and ultimately what every parent wishes for their children, I also have a tad bit of grief. What do you mean he thinks he can walk out to the garden by himself to pick tomatoes? Can he really do that without me? Isn't he going to need me forever? What about all of the cuddles and hugs that nourish me as much as him? What will happen to them?
I know I'm just rambling. As if this entire blog hasn't been one long ramble. There's so much that I've wanted to write and say, to document for me and my family as well as to inform my fellow adoptive parents who are soon on their way to Vietnam themselves. If you're an adoptive parent and have any questions, feel free to email me because there's no guarantee that I'm going to have time to address all that I want to say. Plus, some discussions are better left privately.
It's wonderful to be in our home. Our friend Dawn did a great job housesitting and in the course of her spiritual work, infused our home with great energy. We were bummed to come home Saturday afternoon to find the second floor air-conditioning system broken but an emergency call to our repairman had it fixed by Monday afternoon. In the meantime, we played "Hotel" all sleeping together in Molly's room, thanks to a window unit lent to us by our neighbors.
My garden has survived the summer drought and my absence though there were a few casualties. The stewartia pseudocamelia and the chionanthus virginicus both took it hard, so hard that they are both dead. But they were new installations that needed a lot of TLC which I didn't have to offer while we were gone.
As for the stacks of mail, we have yet to attack them. I have sorted through the trash mail and popped those pieces in the recycling bin. Catalogs, magazines, bills, and general correspondence are all in neat piles though I have yet to open them. That's a fun project for later today.
The truth is in this weary jetlag phase, I'm not sure where I really am or where I really want to be. My body is most definitely here in Tunis Mills but my mind is mostly still in Vietnam. I long for fresh spring rolls - I ate them nearly every day - and fresh mango juice. All the shopping I did in Hanoi seems to look like nothing short of a small anthill when spread out on my office floor. And here I thought I had gotten so much. I thought I finished my Christmas shopping for the year but not so. I could have done so much more! I miss the unbelievable plethora of dining options in Hanoi. From Vietnamese, western, French, Italian, Indian, Chinese, Thai, Japanese, Korean. You name it, they had it. I miss the busyness and commotion on the streets. Indeed, it was annoying walking down the street in Hanoi because there were so many people, some rushing, some sitting on plastic stools enjoying tea, some leaning against motorbikes slurping on ice creams, others plying fresh produce, stinky fish and cheap flowers. Yet, as bothersome as it was - especially with a stroller! - life was happening right there on the streets. The Vietnamese live outside. It all hangs out. They eat, drink, nap, work, play checkers, smoke waterpipes, sell cigarettes individually, all right there on the street.
Back here in small town life USA, no one is on the streets except the occasional passerby. It's rather lonely and ghostly. Where is everyone? How come people here don't interact as intimately as over there? Everyone drives so safely and politely here. (I'm not complaining at all about that!) It's just a different rhythm to get used to where in Vietnam it was every man for himself on his bike, cyclo, motorbike, car or bus. It was the first thing Max noticed when we left Dulles airport. The roads are so much bigger and calmer. No one is pulling hysteronic feats of foolishness to overtake another vehicle. No horns blaring, simply to announce one's presence.
I'm not saying one place is better than another. They both have their merits and both have their pitfalls. What I suppose I'm trying to say is that there's a big gear change in the pace of life we were just living to the one we are now in. I suppose it's also culture shock, a sensation I've only ever experienced on the re-entry leg of my travels.
I leave Vietnam with the precioius, gentle daughter of my dreams. I leave having shared such an intimate and unbelievable experience with my husband and my son, both of whom I love more than ever for sharing this journey with me. Sharing it with enthusiasm, flexibility and curiosity. I leave knowing we will back. Yes, we will go back to Asia again to let our children visit the countries of their birth, their respective homelands. But, in all truth, we will go back because we passionately lust to explore more of Asia and want to see and do more. Burma, Laos and Bhutan are high on our lists.
And of course, Cambodia calls us both. As I told my Mom the other day, if I were at a different place in my life right now and a different time (i.e. not a parent of an infant and a toddler), I wouldn't have come home just yet. I would have stayed in Cambodia and just plopped right into the beautiful wave of humanitarian helping and philanthropy for a people who so desperately need it, deserve it and want it.
Here's to another day of fuzzy-headedness floating in a surreality. A little more cocculus (great homeopathic remedy for jet lag!) and time and we'll be good to go in no time. Tom's really itching to go. He's got Police tix for the Madison Square Garden show on Friday night... Not sure I'm up for the four hour jaunt to New York just yet. Sting can wait, in my books, but the doors of Bonpoint, Bergdorfs and Best & Co. are calling........ Afterall, I do have a little girl to shop for now!
We've been home five days (four nights) and we are slowly starting to morph into the timezone we once knew here. We've given ourselves lots of space and little obligations this week so that we could gently ease into life at home as a quartet. I feel so lucky that we can do that! That neither Tom or I have to rush off to work this week but can just have this space to to move into this new and exciting chapter of our lives.
Picking up Molly in Hanoi in July was blistering hot and humid like this Eastern Shore girl has never seen before BUT it was divine timing. We basically have the summer off from work and school responsibilities so it was perfectly timed. Molly is swinging in her swing (thanks Jack for the loan!), sucking her thumb, waking up every few minutes to smile at me and then go back to her cat nap. It just occurred to me that it's almost like shes's always been here and I have distant memories of what it was like when we were a trio.
We've been waiting for her for a long time and I will say that we all agree, hands down, that she was worth the wait. And, as you will often here in adoption circles, she is just the baby who is supposed to be in our lives. There are times in the adoption process that I wanted a baby so bad and RIGHT NOW. But, like with Max, if that had happened that way, well then we wouldn't have Molly. It works just as it is supposed to work, whether we understand it or not.
So, by and large, it's nice to be home. Max got up at 3:30 in the morning the first two nights home to play with his toys. He was so happy to be re-united with his "things." I had woken up at 5:30 a.m. to find all the lights on downstairs and he was on the sunporch happily playing with his cars and planes. "I didn't want to wake you up, Mommy," he said, eating his second package of peanut butter crackers. "I wanted to let you and Daddy sleep."
He seems to be finding his independence since we've returned. He does more things that he can do for himself and it's nice to see him growing up. Maybe he was this way before we left and I only notice it more now with Molly because we have to do everything for her. While I'm excited Max is more independent and ultimately what every parent wishes for their children, I also have a tad bit of grief. What do you mean he thinks he can walk out to the garden by himself to pick tomatoes? Can he really do that without me? Isn't he going to need me forever? What about all of the cuddles and hugs that nourish me as much as him? What will happen to them?
I know I'm just rambling. As if this entire blog hasn't been one long ramble. There's so much that I've wanted to write and say, to document for me and my family as well as to inform my fellow adoptive parents who are soon on their way to Vietnam themselves. If you're an adoptive parent and have any questions, feel free to email me because there's no guarantee that I'm going to have time to address all that I want to say. Plus, some discussions are better left privately.
It's wonderful to be in our home. Our friend Dawn did a great job housesitting and in the course of her spiritual work, infused our home with great energy. We were bummed to come home Saturday afternoon to find the second floor air-conditioning system broken but an emergency call to our repairman had it fixed by Monday afternoon. In the meantime, we played "Hotel" all sleeping together in Molly's room, thanks to a window unit lent to us by our neighbors.
My garden has survived the summer drought and my absence though there were a few casualties. The stewartia pseudocamelia and the chionanthus virginicus both took it hard, so hard that they are both dead. But they were new installations that needed a lot of TLC which I didn't have to offer while we were gone.
As for the stacks of mail, we have yet to attack them. I have sorted through the trash mail and popped those pieces in the recycling bin. Catalogs, magazines, bills, and general correspondence are all in neat piles though I have yet to open them. That's a fun project for later today.
The truth is in this weary jetlag phase, I'm not sure where I really am or where I really want to be. My body is most definitely here in Tunis Mills but my mind is mostly still in Vietnam. I long for fresh spring rolls - I ate them nearly every day - and fresh mango juice. All the shopping I did in Hanoi seems to look like nothing short of a small anthill when spread out on my office floor. And here I thought I had gotten so much. I thought I finished my Christmas shopping for the year but not so. I could have done so much more! I miss the unbelievable plethora of dining options in Hanoi. From Vietnamese, western, French, Italian, Indian, Chinese, Thai, Japanese, Korean. You name it, they had it. I miss the busyness and commotion on the streets. Indeed, it was annoying walking down the street in Hanoi because there were so many people, some rushing, some sitting on plastic stools enjoying tea, some leaning against motorbikes slurping on ice creams, others plying fresh produce, stinky fish and cheap flowers. Yet, as bothersome as it was - especially with a stroller! - life was happening right there on the streets. The Vietnamese live outside. It all hangs out. They eat, drink, nap, work, play checkers, smoke waterpipes, sell cigarettes individually, all right there on the street.
Back here in small town life USA, no one is on the streets except the occasional passerby. It's rather lonely and ghostly. Where is everyone? How come people here don't interact as intimately as over there? Everyone drives so safely and politely here. (I'm not complaining at all about that!) It's just a different rhythm to get used to where in Vietnam it was every man for himself on his bike, cyclo, motorbike, car or bus. It was the first thing Max noticed when we left Dulles airport. The roads are so much bigger and calmer. No one is pulling hysteronic feats of foolishness to overtake another vehicle. No horns blaring, simply to announce one's presence.
I'm not saying one place is better than another. They both have their merits and both have their pitfalls. What I suppose I'm trying to say is that there's a big gear change in the pace of life we were just living to the one we are now in. I suppose it's also culture shock, a sensation I've only ever experienced on the re-entry leg of my travels.
I leave Vietnam with the precioius, gentle daughter of my dreams. I leave having shared such an intimate and unbelievable experience with my husband and my son, both of whom I love more than ever for sharing this journey with me. Sharing it with enthusiasm, flexibility and curiosity. I leave knowing we will back. Yes, we will go back to Asia again to let our children visit the countries of their birth, their respective homelands. But, in all truth, we will go back because we passionately lust to explore more of Asia and want to see and do more. Burma, Laos and Bhutan are high on our lists.
And of course, Cambodia calls us both. As I told my Mom the other day, if I were at a different place in my life right now and a different time (i.e. not a parent of an infant and a toddler), I wouldn't have come home just yet. I would have stayed in Cambodia and just plopped right into the beautiful wave of humanitarian helping and philanthropy for a people who so desperately need it, deserve it and want it.
Here's to another day of fuzzy-headedness floating in a surreality. A little more cocculus (great homeopathic remedy for jet lag!) and time and we'll be good to go in no time. Tom's really itching to go. He's got Police tix for the Madison Square Garden show on Friday night... Not sure I'm up for the four hour jaunt to New York just yet. Sting can wait, in my books, but the doors of Bonpoint, Bergdorfs and Best & Co. are calling........ Afterall, I do have a little girl to shop for now!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Home Sweet Home
According to my calculations, and I never was very good at math, it took us 35 hours door to door from Hanoi back home to Easton, Maryland.
Now that does include all the time we were in motion, whether flying or not. I'm so knackered I can hardly right but just want to let my faithful readers know that we made it home safe and sound.
I cannot recommend Thai Airways more highly. They are a fantastic airline and have picked up on service where the Americans left off decades ago. The 17-hour flight from Bangkok to JFK is nothing short of long but it was very comfortable as we were sitting in premium economy (a compromise b/w economy and business class) AND a baby bassinet which is a must for all travelers who are waiting to go to Vietnam.
First off, with the baby bassinet, the baby has a place to sleep (and sleep they do!) and you don't have to hold the baby for the entire flight. I mean there's bonding and then there's BONDING. Also, b/c the bassient has to attach to the wall, you get seats in the bulkhead which is always a wee bit spacier.
The kids were excellent for the traveling part. Max had a meltdown here or there but I had my own share of them as well so who could blame him? Both he and Mols fell asleep from Hanoi to Bangkok. Too bad for Max because when we arrived in Bangkok, there were huge airplanes all around us on the tarmac - a scene he would have loved but there was no waking that boy up. (Did I tell you that the Vietnamese always called Max "boy"? and then cup him affectionately on the face?)
Molly did wake up though and was ready to party during our 2 hour lay-over. Soon after boarding the flight bound for JFK, we all fell asleep (it was 12:40 a.m.) except for Max who watched "Meet the Robinsons" on his own private screen. I think he stayed up til 4. But then he slept.
Lots of food being served and lots of cheap cat naps. The air hostesses kept the cabins dark except for during meals which was kind of weird. And once again I was thrilled we were flying through the Arctic Circle. Over China, Siberia, the North Pole and then Canada. I loved lookng at the polar ice caps from 36,000 feet above.
Our flight arrived on time and had a wonderful touch down. I was psyched because for the first time in years I didn't take any medicine to fly. No fear, no panic attacks, not even anxiety. I think it is b/c I'm so focused on the kids I don't have time to indulge in my emotional stuff.
We breezed through immigration and customs which kind of surprised me because we were importing an "alien" as our government likes to term our adopted babies. Do your think they could come up with a kinder word?
Then we had a 3 hour wait to Dulles. We were tempted to rent a car and just drive home. It would have taken the same amount of time but as it turned out, it would have been quicker.
After boarding the oversold flight, we were told the plane couldn't not take off for another hour b/c there were 35 planes in front of us on the runway. Here we were so close to home and time seemed to slow slower than a snail's pace. Both kids were crying on the plane during the wait and I was half expecting to be evicted at some point but we never were.
Alas, the plane got going and we flew the 40 minute flight to Dulles quite uneventfully. We were met by Tom's Mom and step father who drove all the way over from Easton to pick up. It was so wonderful to be met at the airport by someone we loved and wanted to see. Remember in the old days when people used to meet you at the airport?: Those days are so gone.
Anyway, the closer we got to home the longer it seeemd to take to get there. We did finally make it, after Tom's 85 year old step-father gave Molly a tour of the most important monuments in Washington, D.C. A big deal for a little girl on her first day in America! Rather approrpriate though.
My brain wants to keep writing but my eyes keep closing so I've got to sign off now. More later. And it's so darned nice to be home. I didn't realize how much I missed it til we got home.
Now that does include all the time we were in motion, whether flying or not. I'm so knackered I can hardly right but just want to let my faithful readers know that we made it home safe and sound.
I cannot recommend Thai Airways more highly. They are a fantastic airline and have picked up on service where the Americans left off decades ago. The 17-hour flight from Bangkok to JFK is nothing short of long but it was very comfortable as we were sitting in premium economy (a compromise b/w economy and business class) AND a baby bassinet which is a must for all travelers who are waiting to go to Vietnam.
First off, with the baby bassinet, the baby has a place to sleep (and sleep they do!) and you don't have to hold the baby for the entire flight. I mean there's bonding and then there's BONDING. Also, b/c the bassient has to attach to the wall, you get seats in the bulkhead which is always a wee bit spacier.
The kids were excellent for the traveling part. Max had a meltdown here or there but I had my own share of them as well so who could blame him? Both he and Mols fell asleep from Hanoi to Bangkok. Too bad for Max because when we arrived in Bangkok, there were huge airplanes all around us on the tarmac - a scene he would have loved but there was no waking that boy up. (Did I tell you that the Vietnamese always called Max "boy"? and then cup him affectionately on the face?)
Molly did wake up though and was ready to party during our 2 hour lay-over. Soon after boarding the flight bound for JFK, we all fell asleep (it was 12:40 a.m.) except for Max who watched "Meet the Robinsons" on his own private screen. I think he stayed up til 4. But then he slept.
Lots of food being served and lots of cheap cat naps. The air hostesses kept the cabins dark except for during meals which was kind of weird. And once again I was thrilled we were flying through the Arctic Circle. Over China, Siberia, the North Pole and then Canada. I loved lookng at the polar ice caps from 36,000 feet above.
Our flight arrived on time and had a wonderful touch down. I was psyched because for the first time in years I didn't take any medicine to fly. No fear, no panic attacks, not even anxiety. I think it is b/c I'm so focused on the kids I don't have time to indulge in my emotional stuff.
We breezed through immigration and customs which kind of surprised me because we were importing an "alien" as our government likes to term our adopted babies. Do your think they could come up with a kinder word?
Then we had a 3 hour wait to Dulles. We were tempted to rent a car and just drive home. It would have taken the same amount of time but as it turned out, it would have been quicker.
After boarding the oversold flight, we were told the plane couldn't not take off for another hour b/c there were 35 planes in front of us on the runway. Here we were so close to home and time seemed to slow slower than a snail's pace. Both kids were crying on the plane during the wait and I was half expecting to be evicted at some point but we never were.
Alas, the plane got going and we flew the 40 minute flight to Dulles quite uneventfully. We were met by Tom's Mom and step father who drove all the way over from Easton to pick up. It was so wonderful to be met at the airport by someone we loved and wanted to see. Remember in the old days when people used to meet you at the airport?: Those days are so gone.
Anyway, the closer we got to home the longer it seeemd to take to get there. We did finally make it, after Tom's 85 year old step-father gave Molly a tour of the most important monuments in Washington, D.C. A big deal for a little girl on her first day in America! Rather approrpriate though.
My brain wants to keep writing but my eyes keep closing so I've got to sign off now. More later. And it's so darned nice to be home. I didn't realize how much I missed it til we got home.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Leaving on a Jet Plane
Good news!
Two enormous pieces of the puzzle to return home came together this afternoon. Molly got a thumbs up to fly around 2 p.m. from our favorite doctor. Her lungs are still crackling a wee bit but sound so much better than yesterday. We've got an inhaler/puffer for her during the flight and Actifed to keep her comfortable.
And then after days of being on the wait list, we got three seats confirmed this afternoon to fly out tonight. We're not all sitting together, at the moment, but I'm hoping someone will take pity on us and let our happy family fly together. We're grateful to be flying out tonight because it doesn't like we'd get seats again til Tuesday. I am glad we can all rise to the occasion to be spontaneous. You've never seen two people organize the troops and pack so quickly.
So a very quick farewell to Hanoi. I need to hop in the shower before we embark on our 30 hour journey home. I'm just hoping that someone will be on the other end to pick us up when we get to Washington.
We're sad to leave our new friends here who haven't heard from the embassy yet. Meeting them has been an unanticipated bonus of this whole experience. We've vowed to stay in touch so that our babies can be in contact over the years, having shared similar stories and possibly even the same crib. These little infants are as close to family as they've ever known.
To all of you who prayed for Molly, thanks! She's definitely on the mend and we can't wait for you to meet her.
The oddest thing I saw today: Some dude on a motorbike carry five globes in big boxes tied together with twine. He has the whole world in his hands.
My favorite absurd observation of the day: The stratospheres of wealth in Vietnam are enormous and go from the tippy top to the bottom. There's something for everyone and the Vietnamese are very industrious people. Take, for example, the guy on the street corner who fixes flat tires. One could easily walk by him and think "oh, he's just napping on the sidewalk." But really, if someone on a bicycle needs to get a flat tire fixed or a few bursts of air inflated in their tire for good measure, this is the man to see. You will recognize him because he has an old-fashioned bicycle pump and a dirty plastic dish of water (to find out where the leaks are.) I wonder if AAA covers his services.
Tom's yelling at me from the other room to get moving. Max needs to get dressed and we have to wake Molly up.
May our travels be blessed with safety and ease.
More later.
Two enormous pieces of the puzzle to return home came together this afternoon. Molly got a thumbs up to fly around 2 p.m. from our favorite doctor. Her lungs are still crackling a wee bit but sound so much better than yesterday. We've got an inhaler/puffer for her during the flight and Actifed to keep her comfortable.
And then after days of being on the wait list, we got three seats confirmed this afternoon to fly out tonight. We're not all sitting together, at the moment, but I'm hoping someone will take pity on us and let our happy family fly together. We're grateful to be flying out tonight because it doesn't like we'd get seats again til Tuesday. I am glad we can all rise to the occasion to be spontaneous. You've never seen two people organize the troops and pack so quickly.
So a very quick farewell to Hanoi. I need to hop in the shower before we embark on our 30 hour journey home. I'm just hoping that someone will be on the other end to pick us up when we get to Washington.
We're sad to leave our new friends here who haven't heard from the embassy yet. Meeting them has been an unanticipated bonus of this whole experience. We've vowed to stay in touch so that our babies can be in contact over the years, having shared similar stories and possibly even the same crib. These little infants are as close to family as they've ever known.
To all of you who prayed for Molly, thanks! She's definitely on the mend and we can't wait for you to meet her.
The oddest thing I saw today: Some dude on a motorbike carry five globes in big boxes tied together with twine. He has the whole world in his hands.
My favorite absurd observation of the day: The stratospheres of wealth in Vietnam are enormous and go from the tippy top to the bottom. There's something for everyone and the Vietnamese are very industrious people. Take, for example, the guy on the street corner who fixes flat tires. One could easily walk by him and think "oh, he's just napping on the sidewalk." But really, if someone on a bicycle needs to get a flat tire fixed or a few bursts of air inflated in their tire for good measure, this is the man to see. You will recognize him because he has an old-fashioned bicycle pump and a dirty plastic dish of water (to find out where the leaks are.) I wonder if AAA covers his services.
Tom's yelling at me from the other room to get moving. Max needs to get dressed and we have to wake Molly up.
May our travels be blessed with safety and ease.
More later.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Waiting in limbo again
Checking in to say that it looks like our departure is on hold yet again. This time it's not the embassy or any other paperwork chasing but something completely unanticipated.
Our precious Molly has just been diagnosed with broncheolitis which is certainly something we don't want to fly with. When I took her to the SOS clinic yesterday afternoon (our fourth visit in two weeks) her breathing was so raspy, shallow and wheezy. I was afraid at first that perhaps I was over-reacting and didn't really need to go to the clinic but with the impending flight, I really wanted someone to listen to her lungs.
I'm glad I listened to my intuition.
So from an ear infection, she's also had bronchitis and now broncheolitis. Some of the other kids have been diagnosed with the same and it's so sad. It's like they already haven't been through enough in their short lives. Let's throw on a few respiratory illnesses to make things worse.
I was hoping that by now though she would be well on the mend, not getting worse. She's been on anti-biotics since we picked her up. I suppose if there is a silver lining, we're at least somewhat comforted knowing that she's getting the best possible medical care she can be getting in Vietnam rather than suffering listlessly in the orphanage which has proved to be nothing short of a breeding ground for infectious germs.
The doctor, a very handsome German with a ponytail and a gentle way with children, wants to see us again today to see where she is. As far as our flight home tomorrow, he said it's TBA. And of course we will honor whatever he says. He sent me home with a nebulizer and an assortment of medicines and steroids to put in the nebulizer.
I've never done a nebulizer before and I admit that some of the instructions conveyed by the Vietnamese male nurse got Lost in Translation. Like, does anyone know if it's okay to nebulize the kids when they're sleeping?
So, we're on hold again. One step forward, several steps back. We went to the embassy yesterday before the doctor's and applied for Molly's visa. Barring any unforeseen problems, we should have Molly's visa in hand this evening. And now we wait for the doctor's okay.
We're all going stir crazy. The suite gets smaller and smaller every day and despite that, I think we've all done a great job rallying under the circumstances. The great irony is that our family and one other family have been the only two approved to move forward in the visa application. The other five families haven't heard a peep from the embassy and they're getting really itchy and antsy. My heart goes out to them because the not knowing how long our sentence is, is perhaps the toughest part. And here we nearly have our get out of jail card and probably aren't going anywhere til Mols is on the mend.
Please, please include Molly in your prayers. Send her any healing, reiki energy that you can muster. Or as we Quakers say, please hold her in the light. We know she's going to pull through this and we just want to get her home on American turf as soon as possible. I miss our pediatrician and trying to read medicine instructions in Arabic or French is trying. Amen for the American standard of health. There's nothing like it anywhere else.
Our precious Molly has just been diagnosed with broncheolitis which is certainly something we don't want to fly with. When I took her to the SOS clinic yesterday afternoon (our fourth visit in two weeks) her breathing was so raspy, shallow and wheezy. I was afraid at first that perhaps I was over-reacting and didn't really need to go to the clinic but with the impending flight, I really wanted someone to listen to her lungs.
I'm glad I listened to my intuition.
So from an ear infection, she's also had bronchitis and now broncheolitis. Some of the other kids have been diagnosed with the same and it's so sad. It's like they already haven't been through enough in their short lives. Let's throw on a few respiratory illnesses to make things worse.
I was hoping that by now though she would be well on the mend, not getting worse. She's been on anti-biotics since we picked her up. I suppose if there is a silver lining, we're at least somewhat comforted knowing that she's getting the best possible medical care she can be getting in Vietnam rather than suffering listlessly in the orphanage which has proved to be nothing short of a breeding ground for infectious germs.
The doctor, a very handsome German with a ponytail and a gentle way with children, wants to see us again today to see where she is. As far as our flight home tomorrow, he said it's TBA. And of course we will honor whatever he says. He sent me home with a nebulizer and an assortment of medicines and steroids to put in the nebulizer.
I've never done a nebulizer before and I admit that some of the instructions conveyed by the Vietnamese male nurse got Lost in Translation. Like, does anyone know if it's okay to nebulize the kids when they're sleeping?
So, we're on hold again. One step forward, several steps back. We went to the embassy yesterday before the doctor's and applied for Molly's visa. Barring any unforeseen problems, we should have Molly's visa in hand this evening. And now we wait for the doctor's okay.
We're all going stir crazy. The suite gets smaller and smaller every day and despite that, I think we've all done a great job rallying under the circumstances. The great irony is that our family and one other family have been the only two approved to move forward in the visa application. The other five families haven't heard a peep from the embassy and they're getting really itchy and antsy. My heart goes out to them because the not knowing how long our sentence is, is perhaps the toughest part. And here we nearly have our get out of jail card and probably aren't going anywhere til Mols is on the mend.
Please, please include Molly in your prayers. Send her any healing, reiki energy that you can muster. Or as we Quakers say, please hold her in the light. We know she's going to pull through this and we just want to get her home on American turf as soon as possible. I miss our pediatrician and trying to read medicine instructions in Arabic or French is trying. Amen for the American standard of health. There's nothing like it anywhere else.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
We're coming home!
Yippee!! Hooray! We got the phone call we've all been waiting for this afternoon. Martin called to say that we got approval from the US Embassy to apply for Molly's visa so that we can fly home.
That means our paperwork was processed in 6 business days at the embassy. Some families have also heard the good word while others still wait. While we're excited to be among the first to get approved, our hearts are with our friends who haven't gotten word yet. Since we've been here, we've formed a family of sorts, all rooting for one and other and walking the same path. So it only seems right that they would hear at the same time as us. But they haven't and so it is.
Next step is tomorrow we head to the U.S. Embassy again to apply for Molly's visa. With the $380 cash in hand, we will go en famille to the embassy for what will hopefully be out last visit. We've already got Molly's passport (well, actually World Child does - they've kept all of our pertinent paperwork) and the general turnaround time for visa applications is 24 hours.
If our travel agent is able to work wonders, our hope is to fly home Friday. I guess that would mean we arrive on Saturday around noon at Dulles. Crazy, huh? Here we've been sitting waiting, waiting, waiting and all of sudden, spring into action. It's such a relief to literally be almost home. We could try to push things and fly on Thursday night but it would mean checking out of our hotel, rushing to the embassy to get the visa and then racing to the airport to hop on the flight to Bangkok.
It would be a big stressor and traveling with two children, we've decided to just relax and go the following day. Our loose schedule is definitely an asset in the travel planning. Some people have to return on certain days. I must say it is an immensely huge relief to see the end in sight. Not knowing when while waiting can be so difficult. At least waiting and knowing when the waiting will end is more palatable.
Also, it would allow Molly one more day to get better. I can't remember if I wrote it or not but the poor thing has bronchitis and ear infections now. She had a tough day today - lots of crying and not wanting to be put down and frankly, if I had what she has, I'd feel the same way. She's on all sorts of meds and hopefully will be on the mend in the next day or two. I'm trying different remedies too but haven't found one yet that makes the shift I'm looking for.
It's time to come home and we are really ready. Max is starting to escape from the hotel room again and is becoming very fresh with us. I think it will do him and us good for him to be on his home turf again. He has the staff at the Melia wrapped around his fingers and he's actually figured out a wonderful thing. He knows where the hotel's internal florist is and, with babysitter in hand, charms his way into the florist's and gets free flowers! So, our room (1920, Karrie, just like you!) is full of flowers at all times. Tonight he came home with a dozen yellow roses. I complain not.
So Max and the Melia. He has become quite mischevious and knows his way around this enormous hotel. (It holds the biggest ballroom in Vietnam!) When we go to the elevator (we're on the 19th floor) he always pushed the up and down buttons now, regardless of what floor we are going to. Once in the elevator, rather than pushing "G" for the ground floor, he pushed Level One, knowing that he is guaranteed an escalator ride down to "G" from the first floor. In the restaurant, our little tyrant general has all the waitresses humming around him. He asks them for whatever he wants from the sumptuous breakfast buffet and they give it to him - without asking me or Tom first. This child has pigged out on desserts and chocolate rice krispies. Hence, the aforementioned freshness. With the insouicance of Eloise at the Plaza, he orders the hotel staff to go away when they knock on our door and tells his babysitters how to entertain him. Sometimes I think he thinks he's in charge of our household. His charm is waning though and he is close to having us all evicted.
Max's excitement of being a big brother has waned as well. The honeymoon isn't quite over but he has definintely focused more interest in the bridges outside our window than his sister. He does love her, likes to help feed her and wants to tell me how to administer her medicines. She follows him everywhere with her eyes and adores him.
It's hard to believe Molly has been with us now for two weeks. It feels like she's been with us forever as we slowly make the adjustment from being a trio to a quartet. She is sleeping a little less during the day and enjoys playtime, cooing at us and giving us big gummy smiles.
There's still so much I want to write and say about Hanoi and our time in Vietnam but it's 11:30 p.m. and I'm pooped again. I forgot how tiring it is waking up in the middle of the night for feedings. At least Molly only does one or two of them. We're lucky.
Tom got tix for the soccer game tomorrow night here in Hanoi. Japan versus Saudi Arabia in the Asian Cup. He's going with two other Dad's he's befriended for a guy's night out.
We got a babysitter tonight and went out for a superb meal. Before I describe that though, I must write about Miss Van who has babysat for both kids several times now. She is quite stern but very loving at the same time. She coddles Molly almost the whole time and manages to engage Max as well. She's the one who takes him on walkabouts around the hotel and how he learns about the bowels of the Melia hidden from nearly all guests. Van is immensely competent (she has two kids of her own) and, like many Vietnamese, has no problem telling me what I should be doing better to raise my kids.
First off, I need to make the room warmer for Molly's cold and tonight she told me I need to not only put socks on Molly's feet at night (which I already do if all the footy pjs are dirty) but I need to also put socks on her hands to keep her warm. She says these things to me as if I'm not fit to be a mother. I can't tell you how many times Vietnamese woman have told me what to do for my children. They've very outspoken and don't hesitate to tell you exactly what they think is right for you. At first it was a sort of endearing cultural habit. Now it's just annoying.
Anyway, back to dinner. We went to a wonderful restaurant called Wild Lotus. The ambience was hipper and cooler than Tao in New York, more intimate as well. Stepping off the sidewalk into the restaurant's compound is like walking from a chaotic world into a zone of serenity and calm. The decor is so "yoga hip" and cool. Candles lighting every step on the way up to the restaurant, water trickling in fountains and awesome statues of the Buddha abound.
What was really nice, especially in contrast to our visit to uber-hip Verticale, was that the restaurant was mainly full of Vietnamese people. At Verticale, we were one three tables there - all foreigners or expats. Tongiht, at Wild Lotus, the food was insanely delicious and we braved dishes we never tried before. This is meant to be an upscale Vietnamese restaurant serving modern fare based on timeless ingredients and infusions. I've heard good things about the restaurant and also wanted to go because our dear friend Sean has a yoga studio in New Orleans called Wild Lotus. Or, in Vietnamese, it's Da Lien. Thought I'd get him a tee shirt but they don't do that sort of thing here.
First off, I had spring rolls. They were, without a doubt, the best spring rolls I've tried in Viet Nam. And I might add, I've become quite the spring roll connoisseur since arriving in Hanoi. I like them because they are refreshing, low fat and fresh. Tonight they were filled with shrimp, mango and mint leaves. So delicious, so light. Yum! And Wild Lotus is not stingy with the servings. Tom had spicy pumpkin soup which had swirls of grated ginger on top. Then he had shredded duck wrapped in rice pancakes and served with a spicy plum sauce. I tried one and agreed that they were very tasty, fresh and light.
After that, we enjoyed trying sauteed pumpkins buds and garlic. The pumpkin buds are pumpkin greens - very mild and tasty and the light sprinkling of crushed garlic added to their taste. Much milder than spinach or beet greens and tastier than kale. We had ordered sauteed morning glories in garlic but they were out of season. We also had grilled shrimp on skewers that was dipped in a dish with freshly sliced chilis and salt soaked in lemon juice. And of course, there was the omnipresent bowl of rice.
We were disappointed in nothing, save for the fact that we didn't have any room leftover for dessert. It was truly a fabulous meal and fairly priced. $38 for the two of us! Same as the boring old buffet here at the Melia, even with the $1 cab ride included. It's refreshing to have grown up time with Tom. It's been nice we've been able to get away a few times to do just that. We figure it's one of the best things we can give our kids is a happy marriage. Happy parents mean happy children.
I can't wait to get home to the Eastern Shore of Maryland where my sister Suzy tells me the tomatoes are just starting to come in and she's already eating local peaches. My mother-in-law says she has been having steamed corn every night and if you're from the Eastern Shore, you know there is no finer corn on this planet.
Absurd observation made today:
I've been wondering why many taxi drivers dash around town with pineapples in the cars. They're kept in between the two front seats in the cup holders. It finally occurred to me that they are air fresheners. So long silly scented pine tree freshener. Just get a pineapple. Smells better.
That means our paperwork was processed in 6 business days at the embassy. Some families have also heard the good word while others still wait. While we're excited to be among the first to get approved, our hearts are with our friends who haven't gotten word yet. Since we've been here, we've formed a family of sorts, all rooting for one and other and walking the same path. So it only seems right that they would hear at the same time as us. But they haven't and so it is.
Next step is tomorrow we head to the U.S. Embassy again to apply for Molly's visa. With the $380 cash in hand, we will go en famille to the embassy for what will hopefully be out last visit. We've already got Molly's passport (well, actually World Child does - they've kept all of our pertinent paperwork) and the general turnaround time for visa applications is 24 hours.
If our travel agent is able to work wonders, our hope is to fly home Friday. I guess that would mean we arrive on Saturday around noon at Dulles. Crazy, huh? Here we've been sitting waiting, waiting, waiting and all of sudden, spring into action. It's such a relief to literally be almost home. We could try to push things and fly on Thursday night but it would mean checking out of our hotel, rushing to the embassy to get the visa and then racing to the airport to hop on the flight to Bangkok.
It would be a big stressor and traveling with two children, we've decided to just relax and go the following day. Our loose schedule is definitely an asset in the travel planning. Some people have to return on certain days. I must say it is an immensely huge relief to see the end in sight. Not knowing when while waiting can be so difficult. At least waiting and knowing when the waiting will end is more palatable.
Also, it would allow Molly one more day to get better. I can't remember if I wrote it or not but the poor thing has bronchitis and ear infections now. She had a tough day today - lots of crying and not wanting to be put down and frankly, if I had what she has, I'd feel the same way. She's on all sorts of meds and hopefully will be on the mend in the next day or two. I'm trying different remedies too but haven't found one yet that makes the shift I'm looking for.
It's time to come home and we are really ready. Max is starting to escape from the hotel room again and is becoming very fresh with us. I think it will do him and us good for him to be on his home turf again. He has the staff at the Melia wrapped around his fingers and he's actually figured out a wonderful thing. He knows where the hotel's internal florist is and, with babysitter in hand, charms his way into the florist's and gets free flowers! So, our room (1920, Karrie, just like you!) is full of flowers at all times. Tonight he came home with a dozen yellow roses. I complain not.
So Max and the Melia. He has become quite mischevious and knows his way around this enormous hotel. (It holds the biggest ballroom in Vietnam!) When we go to the elevator (we're on the 19th floor) he always pushed the up and down buttons now, regardless of what floor we are going to. Once in the elevator, rather than pushing "G" for the ground floor, he pushed Level One, knowing that he is guaranteed an escalator ride down to "G" from the first floor. In the restaurant, our little tyrant general has all the waitresses humming around him. He asks them for whatever he wants from the sumptuous breakfast buffet and they give it to him - without asking me or Tom first. This child has pigged out on desserts and chocolate rice krispies. Hence, the aforementioned freshness. With the insouicance of Eloise at the Plaza, he orders the hotel staff to go away when they knock on our door and tells his babysitters how to entertain him. Sometimes I think he thinks he's in charge of our household. His charm is waning though and he is close to having us all evicted.
Max's excitement of being a big brother has waned as well. The honeymoon isn't quite over but he has definintely focused more interest in the bridges outside our window than his sister. He does love her, likes to help feed her and wants to tell me how to administer her medicines. She follows him everywhere with her eyes and adores him.
It's hard to believe Molly has been with us now for two weeks. It feels like she's been with us forever as we slowly make the adjustment from being a trio to a quartet. She is sleeping a little less during the day and enjoys playtime, cooing at us and giving us big gummy smiles.
There's still so much I want to write and say about Hanoi and our time in Vietnam but it's 11:30 p.m. and I'm pooped again. I forgot how tiring it is waking up in the middle of the night for feedings. At least Molly only does one or two of them. We're lucky.
Tom got tix for the soccer game tomorrow night here in Hanoi. Japan versus Saudi Arabia in the Asian Cup. He's going with two other Dad's he's befriended for a guy's night out.
We got a babysitter tonight and went out for a superb meal. Before I describe that though, I must write about Miss Van who has babysat for both kids several times now. She is quite stern but very loving at the same time. She coddles Molly almost the whole time and manages to engage Max as well. She's the one who takes him on walkabouts around the hotel and how he learns about the bowels of the Melia hidden from nearly all guests. Van is immensely competent (she has two kids of her own) and, like many Vietnamese, has no problem telling me what I should be doing better to raise my kids.
First off, I need to make the room warmer for Molly's cold and tonight she told me I need to not only put socks on Molly's feet at night (which I already do if all the footy pjs are dirty) but I need to also put socks on her hands to keep her warm. She says these things to me as if I'm not fit to be a mother. I can't tell you how many times Vietnamese woman have told me what to do for my children. They've very outspoken and don't hesitate to tell you exactly what they think is right for you. At first it was a sort of endearing cultural habit. Now it's just annoying.
Anyway, back to dinner. We went to a wonderful restaurant called Wild Lotus. The ambience was hipper and cooler than Tao in New York, more intimate as well. Stepping off the sidewalk into the restaurant's compound is like walking from a chaotic world into a zone of serenity and calm. The decor is so "yoga hip" and cool. Candles lighting every step on the way up to the restaurant, water trickling in fountains and awesome statues of the Buddha abound.
What was really nice, especially in contrast to our visit to uber-hip Verticale, was that the restaurant was mainly full of Vietnamese people. At Verticale, we were one three tables there - all foreigners or expats. Tongiht, at Wild Lotus, the food was insanely delicious and we braved dishes we never tried before. This is meant to be an upscale Vietnamese restaurant serving modern fare based on timeless ingredients and infusions. I've heard good things about the restaurant and also wanted to go because our dear friend Sean has a yoga studio in New Orleans called Wild Lotus. Or, in Vietnamese, it's Da Lien. Thought I'd get him a tee shirt but they don't do that sort of thing here.
First off, I had spring rolls. They were, without a doubt, the best spring rolls I've tried in Viet Nam. And I might add, I've become quite the spring roll connoisseur since arriving in Hanoi. I like them because they are refreshing, low fat and fresh. Tonight they were filled with shrimp, mango and mint leaves. So delicious, so light. Yum! And Wild Lotus is not stingy with the servings. Tom had spicy pumpkin soup which had swirls of grated ginger on top. Then he had shredded duck wrapped in rice pancakes and served with a spicy plum sauce. I tried one and agreed that they were very tasty, fresh and light.
After that, we enjoyed trying sauteed pumpkins buds and garlic. The pumpkin buds are pumpkin greens - very mild and tasty and the light sprinkling of crushed garlic added to their taste. Much milder than spinach or beet greens and tastier than kale. We had ordered sauteed morning glories in garlic but they were out of season. We also had grilled shrimp on skewers that was dipped in a dish with freshly sliced chilis and salt soaked in lemon juice. And of course, there was the omnipresent bowl of rice.
We were disappointed in nothing, save for the fact that we didn't have any room leftover for dessert. It was truly a fabulous meal and fairly priced. $38 for the two of us! Same as the boring old buffet here at the Melia, even with the $1 cab ride included. It's refreshing to have grown up time with Tom. It's been nice we've been able to get away a few times to do just that. We figure it's one of the best things we can give our kids is a happy marriage. Happy parents mean happy children.
I can't wait to get home to the Eastern Shore of Maryland where my sister Suzy tells me the tomatoes are just starting to come in and she's already eating local peaches. My mother-in-law says she has been having steamed corn every night and if you're from the Eastern Shore, you know there is no finer corn on this planet.
Absurd observation made today:
I've been wondering why many taxi drivers dash around town with pineapples in the cars. They're kept in between the two front seats in the cup holders. It finally occurred to me that they are air fresheners. So long silly scented pine tree freshener. Just get a pineapple. Smells better.
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