House Arrest

Okay, well not really. It just feels that way. Today seemed like a long day of waiting in that huge abyss of vagueness. Maybe go to police station today if papers get notarized. Maybe not. Apparently we got in too late last night to get them notarized in time to fill our passport applications for the babies this morning. But alas, the Dads went today to get them while the Moms stayed at home with the babies. Except for the three courageous single parent Moms who went as well.

So, at times it feels like we are hotel bound and can't leave because we're waiting for the phone call to tell us what the next step is. And of course we don't want to miss the phone call b/c then it might mean spending more time in Vietnam than we need or want to. As the baby's passport gets processed, which should allegedly be done in a week, we request interviews with the U.S. Embassy to get permission for the baby to have a visa to go the U.S. That may take two weeks. I'm not sure why some of that paperwork can't be done in advance but I hear that papers have to be sent to Ho Chi Minh City, then back to Hanoi and blah blah blah. It doesn't really matter if we understand it or not. Just as long as we show up when we're supposed to and the WC staff keeps us vaguely apprised. We - as in the community of fellow adopting parents that is forming - seem to find out more information from each other in passing than from the staff themselves. There are holes in the communication system but again, we must keep our focus on the trees, not the leaves.

Yesterday was a blast. Crazy. Unbelievably hot. Chaotic, etc. But before I launch into the details of our G&R (which we finally had around 3:30 - 4 pm), I want to tell you about our precious little daughter and meeting her. And before I do that, I want to let you know what Max said on the bus ride north to go get the babies.

Out of the blue, Max told me "I just can't wait to get our baby Mommy! I want to put her in your arms and let her stay there because I know you will love her so much." Like, someone couldn't have said the more perfect thing at that moment. Where he comes up with this stuff I have no idea but after that toast of sorts and the excitement of going over a very long bridge across the Red River Delta, he shape-shifted back into a four year old and slept for the remainder of the 2 hour horrific journey. (Our busdriver was horrible - nearly wiping out dozens of motorbikes and colliding with various large trucks head on along the way.) Just as well Max slept.

He woke up as soon as we pulled into the rather grotty looking social welfare center for Thai Nguyen province. Apparently, there are 20 babies living there (well, not after the deluge of American and Irish parents yesterday but anyway...) as well as the handicapped, elderly and mentally ill. Rather odd.

Max instantly woke up and said "I want our baby. Let's go get her." We were quickly ushered into a small waiting room that was already crammed with about six couples from Ireland who were also picking up their babies as well. All of our little girl's cribmates. Apparently, they rotate the babies around in different cribs so, for these fellow adoptees are the only family they've know for in their short lives.

I had to go to the bathroom as did some of the other parents (there were seven American families from World Child yesterday on the bus.) When I approached the waiting room, I heard Tom yelling for me to get in there quick. He already had Thi Nguyen Hoan (her Vietnamese name) in his arms. He had both Max and the baby amidst a frenzy of excited parents, sedate nannies and the WC staff consisting of Candy and Kenny who were troopers trying to translate all of our questions and the caretakers' responses.

Max immediately fell in love with his little sister. He just couldn't keep his hands off of her in the sweetest and most tender of ways. He loves being a big brothers and is a great helper. He can't get enough of her and just wants to be around her all the time. He gives us constant status reports on what's she is doing and wants to sit next to whoever has the baby in their arms. It's so sweet.

Christine, I will never forget you telling me that the love shared between siblings is so special and what fun it is to watch their relationship blossom. I totally felt that yesterday, even so early in our bonding experience. Max adores her and she follows him everywhere with her eyes. They even "played" cars together on our bed tonite, with Max showing her all of his cars and she, quite on cue, would blow raspberries as if she were making car noises with him. (BTW, our baby is wearing Adison's pink Peter Rabbit jammies today!) She looks so cute in them so thanks for the loan.

I'm more in love with Max than ever and it seems like overnight he has suddenly become such a big boy. He wants to help feed the baby, hold the baby, play with the baby. He even offered tonight to wear the Baby Bjorn to dinner as Tom and I jockeyed for the privilege.

And the baby. She's a cutie pie. Very sweet and mellow. She has a quite little cry and a sweet demeanor. And she's small!!! Like, I brought clothes that are way too big for her. So much for being a clotheshorse. Thank god I brought some younger sized clothes at the last minute. She has great eye contact and immediately started smiling when I had her in my arms. (Same as with Max which I considered to be such a good sign.) But this little girl is a real smiler. She has a big toothless, gummy grin and hardly any hair on her head. Last night, thank god, she slept from 9 p.m. to 5:30 a.m.!!!! And Tom happily did the morning bottle. I hope that wasn't just beginner's luck.

The poor little thing though isn't feeling well. Like many of the other parents, I took her to the SOS clinic this morning for a check-up. Every baby on the bus coming back to Hanoi last night was coughing, sneezing, wheezing etc. Not the healthiest lot but a little anti-biotics and a lot of love will have them back on their feet in no time.

Turns out our little one has an upper respiratory infection (not her first based on her medical records) and is heading towards an ear infection. So, we put her on zythromax today with high hopes that she'll be feeling more comfortable soon. I maintain that if this is how these babies are doing when they aren't feeling well, then we're doing ok.

In case you didn't notice yet (though I know my sister Annie has) we haven't settled on a name yet. We're still in discernment and the list is getting narrowed down. Max insists on calling her Gopala and that's what we call her amongst ourselves but her proper name hasn't revealed itself yet. I had a funny moment in the elevator today when I met an Indian family from New Delhi. I told them we just adopted a Vietnamese baby and that my son wanted to name her Gopala. The father of the family was most impressed and curious at the same time. "Why? How do you know who Gopala is?" His wife muttered something in disdain about us being Hari Krishnas.

Oh one other funny moment I had was yesterday morning at breakfast. Our hotel seems to be full of businessmen and parents adopting Vietnamese babies. Baby Bjorns and strollers are everywhere and we're pretty obvious to each other who we are. I met one man who was carrying his beautiful daughter in a Baby Bjorn and told him that we were adopting our daughter today. He took one look at Max and said "Oh, you must be Gopala." I was taken aback, caught fully off guard, and then he said he's been reading my blog. What are the chances??

We hope our little peanut starts to feel better and I'd be really excited if she maintains that kind of sleep schedule. She has a cute little whimper - like she's not allowed to cry but just wants to get a few squeaks in. I can't believe we finally have her after all this waiting. And much to my surprise, I have been cool as a cucumber for about 96% of the time. You know that feeling when you're doing something you're supposed to be doing and it all just clicks, as if in a divine flow? Well, that's just how this is. We are clearly being held and guided by angels on this trip. I've felt their presence more than once and bow to them in gratitude for their help.

I did have a few minutes of butterflies in my stomach yesterday morning as we were all just waiting, waiting and waiting for 12:40 to arrive. Thankfully, Tom let me fly for an hour or so to go shopping. Shopping therapy really calms the nerves and kept me focused on something other than my anxiety. By the way, anyone who wants to go shopping while they're in Hanoi for very nice quality items, I've got some great sources to share. There's a lot of redundant crap out there and I've luckily sleuthed out some fabulous finds as I try to get my Christmas shopping done. I should be a "buyer." Maybe in my next life.

And just a few notes on the baby hand-off and G&R. It's not as if this trip isn't already surreal enough so to add to the existentialness of it all, we have days like yesterday. We were so not in control of anything (though I did yell at the bus driver to slow down and drive more carefully with the babies onboard --- for somethings you just don't a translator) and were completely going with the flow as soon as our feet touched the bus. Like I said before, the baby hand-off happened so fast. The gift giving was even crazier. Apparently there isn't one caretaker who takes care of just one baby b/c several seemed to dote on our little girl. When I asked who I should give the thank you gift to, one took it and said she would share it with the others. The gifts disappeared in a flurry so there wasn't a chance to personally give gifts. I even met the little boy we are sponsoring in the orphanage, Le Van Van. I recognized him from the photo that was sent to us and I wanted to present him with the gifts I had for him but the presents were already gone when I got back to the room. All that stress about worrying what to get for whom and it all gets lumped together with no sense of personality attached to it. My advice to fellow adopting parents: don't stress too much about it.

After the baby circus of Christmas morning, we were paraded to the Justice Department for the province for the official proceedings. I would like to say that the day held great momentous meaning for us all but a) we were so hot, sweat literally soaking all of our clothes everywhere!, b) we were more excited about connecting with our babies and c) it seemed very official but also very rote. We signed some papers, the head officer came in and gave us a speech about how the babies are now ares and someone in our group, gave a speech thanking the officials for the babies, promising we would take good care of them and bring them back to Vietnam to see their country one day. Under the statue of the everpresent Ho Chi Minh and the Communist flag, the ceremony seemed more official than heartfelt. But whatever. It didn't matter. Everyone was just anxious to get back on the air conditioned bus and head back to Hanoi. Now the rest is in the U.S. government's hands.

Well, family and friends, I've got to sign off. I'm pooped out and everyone else is asleep but me. I'm so tired I'm not even going to check ebay or read my email which says a lot for me. With the last two ounces of energy I have left, I'd like to read my homeopathic book to see how I can help this little sweet pea of a daughter of mine.