G&R ceremony delayed

Hello Hanoi!

We arrived late last night and didn't get settled into our hotel room until about 1 a.m. The flight from Cambodia was delayed 40 minutes and then delayed even more as we had to wait for a thunderstorm to clear before take off. (I hadn't taken any xanax til then, especially after hearing about the Cambodian flight that mysteriously went down a week ago killing all passengers onboard.)

We are now based at the Melia Hotel which is reportedly a "five star" hotel though the rating is questionable. It's enormous (350 rooms?) and Hanoi's hopping spot for convention gatherings. It has a very convention like feel and I'm at a loss for describing the decor. Modern Vietnamese? Art deco meets cheap modern? Very angular, not entirely comfortable or welcoming furniture but we have a very generous sized suite which I know we will really appreciate once the baby arrives. We're on the 19th floor which Max just loves because there are floor to ceiling windows in the suite and he loves looking out across Hanoi in nearly three directions. There aren't many skyscrapers so the view is quite endless and uninterrupted. He of course especially like the bridges crossing the Red River.

We found out early this morning - purely by chance - that the highly anticipated Giving and Receiving ceremony scheduled for tomorrow has apparently been delayed. Martin, the adoption agency's Vietnamese coordinator here, says that one of the officers hasn't yet returned from his vacation. So maybe it's Tuesday? Or maybe later in the week? It's all entirely vague and I'm just trying to go with the flow. I think "maybe" will become my Vietnamese mantra. My other mantra is to remember to look at the forest, not the trees. If I can look beyond the trees of weak communication and other vagueness, this trip will run a lot more smoothly and gracefully. It's out of my hands and I just need to go with the flow.

As I said, we happened upon the info. because Tom was trying to get the international cell phone hooked up (thanks Jeanie and Jim) and he called Martin to give him our cell phone number. Tom asked him what was going on today and that's when Martin told him that the G&R ceremony was delayed til some nefarious date. So, while we had our hearts and hopes set on meeting our daughter tomorrow, I guess we'll just have to wait a wee bit longer.

Max and I were talking about names today and he looked at me and said "But her name is Gopala. We already decided that." Not sure who "we" is. I tossed out Lily or Molly, even being as generous to include Gopala as a middle name. "What do you think of Molly Gopala McCall?" I asked him. "No, mommy. It's Gopala Molly McCall." So he's a bit focused on his entry. Meanwhile, Tom and I are still tossing names back and forth and still feel like we need to hold her and see her in person before the enormous responsibility of bestowing a name on her.

As I write, Max is sleeping and Tom is doing the best he can to keep his eyes open for the Wimbledon match. It's the final match and it's being broadcast live. Funny how that works. It's 8:50 p.m. in Hanoi but around 3 p.m. in England.

Let's see. What else is new. Oh, I have a few funny tidbits to add.

1. Sorry the photos were posted sideways. Not sure how that happened and even less sure of how to correct it. If anyone knows, please let me know.

2. After breakfast this morning, we went on an exploration around this huge hotel. There are several shops in the lobby and one of them is a jewelry store. Completely on his own accord, Max insisted we go in and with the same insistence, suggested buying me a ring. He picked out an oval shaped blue topaz in white gold for $116. It might fit my pinkie it's so small. He was telling the Vietnamese shopkeeper that he wanted to buy the ring for me but needed to check with his Daddy first. He asked the price and then found Tom to report what he found. I've never seen him so insistent. We finally suggested that we wait because it's our first day in Vietnam and we should look around first. He asked me if I was sad about not getting the ring, and I told him no, I wasn't sad. That in fact my heart was very happy because he wanted to do a nice thing for me. Before bed, he said "maybe I can talk the man down to two."

3. We crossed the street several times in Hanoi today. Though it's only Sunday and I'm guessing traffic is less than during the week, the three of us braved the streets. There are few traffic lights and even fewer crosswalks. Just lots of motorbikes, scooters, rickshaws, buses, bikes and cars plying down the wide boulevards. Pedestrian crossing is a rather daunting task at first but after setting foot on the street, there's only one direction and that's forward. Miraculously, traffic diverges around you, with invisible angels guiding and protecting you across the busy streets. The motorbikes, like in Cambodia, seem to flow down the boulevards rather like leaves calmly floating down a river. Cars and taxis beep incessantly, just like in India with no other agenda expect to say "I'm here. See me."

4. Max prefers Cambodian pancakes over Vietnamese. I know I write about him a lot but we're really trying to savor this time with him. He's at a great age for this trip, soaking it up and able to hold his own. Whether he remembers the trip or not doesn't matter. He is present for every moment and it's a treat to see the world through his eyes. He rarely gets fazed, even when the Vietnamese grab his cheek and say "hello boy!" When asked how old he is, he has been overheard saying he's 6 - sometimes 16, depending on what mood he is in and how much of a clown he is being.

Oddly enough, or maybe not so oddly, the Asians ready identify him as Korean. Without a doubt they can tell by his features. The friendlier, South East Asians are curious and want to know why a Korean boy has American parents. (As if it's that hard to figure out??) The Thais, Cambodians and Vietnamese are very upfront and curious about his identity and dote on him like the royal prince that he is. Ironically and, truthfully, somewhat sadly, the throngs of Koreans we've encountered, mostly in Cambodia, refused to acknowledge his presence. Surely if the Asians from other countries could recognize Max as Korean, one would think the Koreans would certainly see it as well. None ever said hello or approached us. Weird.

Of course, all this question about Max's identity from others has led to some interesting conversations. For the first time in the four years of his life, I think he's recognizing that he's not exactly like Mommy and Daddy. That we're different - even different nationalities. He told someone the other day in the hotel swimming pool that he's Korean but his Mom and Dad are Americans although we all speak the same language. Very casual. Later that day, when I pressed for him to elaborate on that observation, he said "Well, Momma, you are a GIRL. And you're a grown up so that's why you're American." This trip is a very growing experience for him.

5. After a sluggish morning, we decided to do our first really naughty thing in Hanoi. We went to the Sofitel Metropole for Sunday brunch. At $35 a person (and Max, mercifully, was free), we supped on an awesome, unbelievable spread of food. Favorites included fried lychees stuffed with truffle, shitake and asparagus; enormous prawns with sweet potatoes, grilled mango with foie gras; duck breast with a tarragon sauce; salmon in beurre blanc; filet wrapped in pastry; scallops in reduced orange sauce; and a creamy pumpkin sauce to die for. Not to mention the French breads (a prevalant bow to the French colonial times), cheeses and desserts. Definitely would make the Four Seasons brunch look like McDonalds. Okay, not McDonalds but, well, inferior. Oh, and fresh tomato sauce - as in freshly squeezed tomatoes, not the canned stuff loaded with sodium. We stuffed ourselves silly and, dear Suzy, you would have died and gone to heaven with the fresh seafood bar.

Tom, not me for once, started lobbying to move from the Melia to the ultra-posh Sofitel which would be way more expensive and not nearly as good a value as what we have here. I'd rather we pop over for lunch every few days rather than cramming into a small "deluxe" room with two kids, one of them being a new baby. The Sofitel also has - EVERY DAY - an elegant chocolate buffet that made the dessert selection at brunch look small. It's $10 and includes afternoon tea. We will be checking that out. And I must confess that for the indigenous people of Asia, French colonialism did few favors in their occupation of Southeast Asia but there are some wonderful leftovers and signs from those times. Baguettes and pate in Vietnam? The most delectable croissants this side of the Ganges? Who would have thought.

After lunch, we tried to walk off our indulgence and circumambulated around Lake Hoan Keim. The tree-lined lake provided welcomed shade from the sultry tropical heat and a feast for our eyes. Max's goal was the oft photographed red bridge so there we went. We couldn't figure out quite what was going on there - there was a temple with people praying ("I'm not going to do it this time," Max declared without prompting) and in the other side of the building was an enormous stuffed turtle in glass, humidity-controlled display case. Random.

Though we were all dragging in the heat - Tom moreso because he had Max on his shoulders, we decided to press on make our way around the entire lake. Max, of course, announced his desire to get a cab several times but we didn't relent. (We wanted him to metabolize his chocolate infusion). It was a great first taste of Hanoi - lots of families out for a Sunday stroll walking hand in hand, little tykes Max's size riding their bikes, men squatting on their haunches and smoking opium in the street, hawkers selling postcards and the famous Vietnamese conical hats, old women cutting up Asia's stinkiest fruit: durian and old men doing tai chi along the water's edge. We even saw Jimmy Carter's Vietnamese look-alike.

7. Vietnam - Asia really - is still in the dark ages about smoking. In fact, there are people smoking in restaurants and in public and it drives this non-smoker nuts. I hate it and detest the foul smell. It's something Max has noticed as well. While we were having cold drinks on the club level this afternoon, he noticed a non-smoking sign on the table. He then proceeded to explain to the waitress that his Granny couldn't come in there because she smokes. "But my Gaga could. She used to smoke but she stopped smoking. She had a heart attack last year." He says this as if a) the waitress understands him and b) she also knows who Granny and Gaga are.

Again my apologies for writing so much. The thing is I just love writing in case you didn't notice. And I'm hopeful that this will one day be a great record for our dear baby who we are hopefully just a few days away from meeting. We're inching closer, getting anxious and just can't wait to have her in our arms. Believe it or not, I'm calm, cool and collected. That, of course, could change with the blink of an eye.

Not sure what tomorrow will bring. We're allegedly supposed to meet Martin in the morning and then not sure what happens after that. Thanks for reading along dear friends. I will quiz on this when we get back.